Arbitrary
by In The Name
Summary: Jane wakes up in a hospital after being drugged. This drug leaves him very susceptible to suggestion. When a nurse mistakenly tells him that Lisbon is his wife, how can she convince him of the truth?
1. Uncertain

**I couldn't stay away from FF for very long this time. I got this idea in my head, made sure that I had permission to write it from Wldwmn as this plotline is similar to hers, and wrote it instead of doing my physics homework. This story will be a few more chapters, but it won't be very long. Just a fun little story to get me through this week. I'm so looking forward to the premier on thursday! Who else is excited? Probably all of you. :p Anyway, I will do my best to finish this before the episode this week but you know me, I'm always procrastinating and updating later than planned. Now, I'll stop babbling and let you get on with the chapter because I really do have to finish my physics. :S I hope you enjoy this first chapter!**

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><p><span>Arbitrary<span>

"Stop! CBI!" Lisbon yelled.

Of course, Lee didn't listen. When do they ever? So she was off, chasing after him when he decided that he had a better chance of getting out of this by out-running her than staying where he was. Fat chance. It wasn't like she didn't chase down criminals for a living.

"Whoa there! Where ya going?"

Dammit. Why did Jane have to come and mess this up? She was perfectly capable of getting Lee, but apparently Jane wasn't perfectly capable of staying by the car like she'd told him.

"Nobody move or I'll blow his brains out!" Lee yelled, putting his gun to Jane's head.

"Hey now, no need for violence." Jane said.

"Shut up!" Lee and Lisbon said simultaneously.

"Put the gun down, Lee." Lisbon said in her calm, commanding tone.

"No, not gonna happen." Lee said, shaking his head viciously from side to side.

"Hey, what's this?" Jane said, taking a small bottle of an unknown substance from Lee's pocket.

"Give me that!" Lee said, his gun all but forgotten. Jane shook it and started fiddling with the top.

"Careful! Don't do that!" Lee said, trying to grab the bottle from Jane. Jane held it out of Lee's reach. In their struggle, Jane dropped the bottle on the ground where it smashed open.

Xxxx

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Something was beeping constantly, and it was rather annoying. On top of the blasted beeping was the sound of voices; how many, he couldn't be sure. He tried to open his eyes, but they were so heavy. Where was he anyways? He tried to open his eyes once more. Surely it never used to be this hard to open his eyes? He was determined to manage at least this small feat. When he finally was able to open his eyes, the question of where he was, was answered.

He seemed to be in a white room, bright florescent lights glared down at him. He looked around and saw what he took to be two nurses talking about something at the foot of his bed. He must be in a hospital bed. He couldn't for the life of him remember why though.

"Mr. Jane, you're awake. Your wife will be so glad to hear the news. She's been asking about you since you got here and was sitting with you as soon as she could. She just stepped out to get some coffee. Oh, here she is." One of the nurses said.

Teresa Lisbon entered his room with a cup of coffee in her hand. As soon as she noticed his open eyes staring at her, her face broke into a smile and she rushed to his side.

"Hey, how you feeling?" She asked.

"Mmm, kind of stuffy. Like there's a cotton ball where my brain should be." Jane grumbled. "I'm just glad you're here. I was worried when I woke up and my wife was no where to be found."

Lisbon's face was one of pure shock when he said this, although he couldn't fathom why. Before he could ask her about it, the nurse interrupted them.

"I'm sorry Mrs Jane, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room for a moment while the doctor runs a few tests and makes sure Mr Jane's doing okay." The nurse said.

"Um, okay." Lisbon said, still relatively confused. She walked out of the room and found Rigsby, Van Pelt and Cho waiting around the corner.

"How's he doing?" Rigsby asked.

"He seems to be alright, the doctor's running a few tests as we speak. I need to talk to the doctor when he's done though." Lisbon said.

"Why?" Van Pelt inquired.

"It seems that Jane thinks I'm his wife." Lisbon said, looking down at the round and blushing.

"What?" Rigsby asked, stunned.

"You heard me." Lisbon muttered.

"Why?" Cho asked.

"I don't know. That's what I hope to find out." Lisbon said. As soon as the words left her mouth, the doctor left Jane's room with the nurse. "I'm going to go do that now."

Lisbon ran down the hall to catch up with the doctor and nurse.

"Excuse me, doctor. How is he?" Lisbon asked.

"He seems to be fine. The drug is still in his system but it's slowly leaving so the symptoms should clear up soon. There seems to be no lasting effects or damage from his fall." The doctor said.

"Um, I think something's wrong." Lisbon said.

"I assure you, there isn't." The doctor said.

"He, um, he thinks that I'm his wife. I don't know why h thinks this, but it's not true." Lisbon said.

"Well, that's unusual as there was no lasting effect on his memory. He just will have a bit of trouble remembering the incident." The doctor said, the wheels turning in her head as she thought of what would cause this.

"I'm afraid this would be my fault." The nurse said, sheepishly. "I told him you were his wife."

"Why?" Lisbon asked.

"Well, if you remember, you were the one who said you were his wife upon arrival." The nurse said, giving Lisbon a disapproving look.

"I know, I shouldn't have done that but only family was allowed to see him and…" Lisbon said, trailing off. "But why did he believe it?"

"Well, the drug that he came in contact with is a type of barbiturate that made Mr. Jane very susceptible to suggestion. It also affected the central nervous system which is why Mr. Jane fainted. I've never seen this particular variation before, but it seems to have an increased effect on Mr. Jane's willingness to believe what he's told and give in to a suggestion. I said that the drug is leaving his system and when it has he should remember the truth. But until then he will believe what he's been told, in the order that he's been told. So trying to convince him otherwise might not work just yet." The doctor said.

"Oh. Okay, well thank you." Lisbon said. "Can I see him?"

"Of course." The nurse said.

Lisbon went into Jane's room and was greeted with the widest smile she'd ever seen him wear.

"Hey." Lisbon said. She walked over to his bed and crouched down beside him.

"Hey. I missed you." Jane said.

"I was gone for like, five minutes." Lisbon said, unable to meet his gaze.

"I know." Jane said. He reached out and turned her head to face him. "But I still missed you. I can't help that I miss you when you're not around. I symptom of love, I suppose." He smiled at this. When he saw that she did not, he quickly sobered.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked.

"I, um. I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm not your wife." Lisbon said, standing up.

"Of course you are. I love you and you love me so we got married." Jane said.

"No we didn't because we don't." Lisbon said.

"I don't know why you're saying these things but they're hurtful and I wish you'd stop." Jane said, a frown appearing on his face.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, I'm saying this because it's true, Jane." Lisbon said. "Can you tell me in all honesty that you remember our first date? Our first kiss or our wedding?"

"Well, no but the doctor said I was drugged and that I may not remember a few things right away." Jane said, grasping at straws.

"No, the reason that you don't remember them is because they haven't happened." Lisbon said.

"I don't believe this." Jane said. He looked away from her and stared out the window wistfully.

"I'm sorry." Lisbon said.

"Just, can you just stop? I don't know what's going on with you right now but I could use the support of my wife right now. Please, just come up here and sit with me?" Jane said, tearing his gaze from the window to look at her.

"I don't think I should." Lisbon said.

"Please Teresa." Jane said. His eyes looked weary and tired. All he needed was some support from her. She climbed up on the bed and sat beside him. She was completely stiff, feeling awkward and uncomfortable, but Jane was the opposite. He seemed to have relaxed significantly just from her being near and, as he moved his hand to entwine with hers, she knew that if she could do this one thing to help him feel a little better, she'd do it.

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><p><strong>What do you think? Unrealistic? Unbelievable? Unimportant? Well, this is fanfiction and I can do what I like. :p But seriously, any thoughts? How do you think Jane will react when the drug is completely out of his system? Will Lisbon be able to convince him or will he be doomed to believe a lie forever? Dun dun dun. Let me know! :D<strong>


	2. Unconvinced

**Here is the next chapter, up before the premier as promised! :) I'm so proud of myself, to be honest. I enjoyed writing this chapter and I'm looking forward to writing the next one. Now, go on and read the chapter. It won't read itself you know! :P**

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><p><span>Arbitrary<span>

Jane woke up to a more delightful sensation than he was used to. When he opened his eyes fully and looked down, he saw the root of the problem. It seemed that one Teresa Lisbon had fallen asleep next to him on his hospital bed and had rolled over towards him in her sleep. He thought this was unusual but he definitely wasn't complaining. A few blinks and he remembered exactly why he was in the hospital. It was a little disconcerting but he was confident that everything would work itself out. It always did.

"Good morning sleepy head." He muttered when he saw Lisbon waking up.

"Morning Jane." Lisbon said before she realized where she was and why. "I just want to say that just because you think that we're married doesn't make it so. We are not married, we never have been married and we never will be married. We'll never be in any sort of romantic relationship for that matter. I realize that this might be confusing for you but you're going to have to use those mentalist skills you're always bragging about—don't even start, you brag and you know it—and realize that I am right in this case. We're going to return to normal and act like nothing happened. Understood?"

"I understand, but it's going to be rather difficult Teresa." Jane said.

"What do you mean? You're Patrick Jane, nothing's difficult for you." Lisbon said. His use of her given name did not go unnoticed but she didn't dignify it with a response save the scrutiny in her eyes.

"I mean, having a taste of what could be is hard to forget, even harder to ignore completely. I could get used to waking up with you in my arms every morning and, judging by the way you've actually leaned further into me since you've woken up rather than fleeing immediately, you could too. Maybe we shouldn't knock it before we try it." Jane said tenderly.

"I don't know what you're talking about. The only reason I'm not out of here already is because I have the decency to explain to you the reality of the situation before dragging you back to it." Lisbon said rationally. But even she knew that she was grasping at straws here.

"That's not true and you know it. Don't try to deny that if I were to kiss you right here and now, you'd hardly protest. I'd even venture so far as to say you'd kiss me back with a shocking amount of enthusiasm." Jane said, a delicate grin gracing his features.

"I—I would not!" Lisbon said, a deep blush settling on her face. She started to untangle herself from Jane and the blankets around them. Before she got too far, Jane grasped her wrists with a sobered expression.

"I know it's hard for you to understand, hell I barely comprehend this madness, but I know what I feel. You can't change how I feel with your words of rationality and logic. I'm sorry, but in my mind we are what we are." Jane said, trying to convey his message through more than words.

"I'm sorry Jane, I really am. I'm sorry this happened to you and that your feelings are confusing you. I'm sorry you've mistaken loneliness for love." Lisbon said, gently prying her wrists from his grasp. She got up and walked to the door. "I need to call the team and give them an update on your condition. I also need to check up on their progress with the case. Just because you were drugged and fell unconscious doesn't mean the rest of the world is too."

"I understand. Goodbye, dear. I love you." Jane said, as if it were an old habit.

Xxxx

Lisbon walked out the hospital doors and was greeted by a brisk wind. She pulled her sweater tighter around herself and whipped out her phone.

"Cho." She smiled at the familiar greeting. Everything going on was so strange and this small amount of normalcy gave her an even smaller comfort. Despite its size, it was better than nothing.

"Cho, it's Lisbon. How's the case?" She asked.

"Good. Lee's being very cooperative. He admitted to everything and now we're just working on some paperwork to wrap this up and throw his sorry ass in jail." Cho said.

"Good work. Pass that along to Van Pelt and Rigsby as well, would you?" Lisbon asked.

"Will do." Cho answered.

"Thanks." Lisbon said.

"No problem. What's the word on Jane?" Cho asked.

"The drug is still working its way out of his system but it's almost gone. He's recovering well from the combined effects of the drug and his fall." Lisbon said.

"So what's the deal with Jane thinking you two are married?" Cho asked, direct and to the point.

"Well it seems that the drug makes the person exposed to it very susceptible to suggestion, which explains how Lee got the victim to let him into her apartment. Anyway, when we arrived at the hospital they said that only family was allowed to see him so I told the nurse that I was his wife." Lisbon said.

"Yes, I remember." Cho said.

"Well, one of the nurses attending to Jane must have been told this because when Jane woke up she told him that I was his wife. Since Jane was still under the influence of the drug, he believed that we're married and nothing I could say would change his mind. He was more reasonable this morning but—" Lisbon said

"When's Jane going to be allowed out?" Cho interrupted.

"Probably by the end of the day, sooner if he keeps annoying everyone within a three foot radius." Lisbon quipped. "I'm going to go check on him. Pass along the news to Van Pelt and Rigsby for me?"

"Sure thing boss. And do you want me to include the part of your sleepover with Jane as well?" Cho asked.

"Desk duty, two weeks." Lisbon said before hanging up. She hadn't really thought that she'd be able to keep that from him but she'd hoped.

She walked back into the hospital, welcoming the warmth that accompanied it. She made her way back to Jane's room to find that the doctor was in there. She waited patiently until they were done and, to her surprise, the doctor waved her in.

"I'd like to discuss the issue of Mr. Jane's living arrangements for the time being." The doctor said. "You see, since this is a very potent drug we don't want to take any chances regarding unforeseen side-effects. Mr. Jane needs to be in the care of another person temporarily. It's only for a couple of days I assure you but it must be done."

"I don't know—" Lisbon started.

"My lovely wife here would be more than happy to take care of me, wouldn't you dear?" Jane stated sweetly. Lisbon just blinked in his direction, which proved difficult to do what with her eyes being opened as wide as possible.

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><p><strong>Which to you think this chapter is? The good, the bad or the ugly? I thought it was quite pretty but I am biased. How about some unbiased feedback from my wonderful readers? :D Pretty please?<strong>


	3. Undone

**So here it is, the conclusion to this fun story. I stayed true to my word, I am posting this before the season premier. I haven't watched it so it counted even though I believe it's airing as I type and has possibly already aired for some of you. Well, by the time you read this it will most likely have aired for all of you. :p But I stand by my reasoning that since it's before I've seen the episode, it still counts. :) Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed and put this on story alerts or favourite stories. Super thanks go out to those of you who've put me on author alert or favourite author, whether before this story or during. :D**

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><p><span>Arbitrary<span>

"I can't believe you did that." Lisbon hissed at Jane as soon as the doctor left the room. She'd been unsuccessful in trying to weasel her way out of this one. She thought that she'd be fully justified in taking her anger out on Jane.

"What?" Jane asked, looking genuinely shocked.

"You know exactly what you did. I can't believe you would put me in that position." Lisbon said.

"Come on, honey. You know that you'd just be worried about be if anybody else were to take care of me and that you'd end up doing it yourself just to put your mind at ease. I just cut out the middle man so to speak and diffused all pretences." Jane said.

"That is beside the point." Lisbon started.

"Actually, I think you'll find that this is exactly the point. Don't pretend that you don't care about me just as much as I care about you. Not now. We both know the truth and you're not even convincing yourself with your lies anymore." Jane said; his face completely serious with a hint of desperation.

"Just pack your stuff up and let's get going." Lisbon grumbled. "I'm not spending another minute in this godforsaken hospital." With that she stormed out of the room to fill out the discharge papers that she was sadly familiar with.

"I don't think that the forms pose a threat, so you can stop stabbing them with your pen." Jane whispered in her ear. She nearly jumped ten feet in the air.

"Goddammit Jane!" Lisbon screeched. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people? Oh yeah, I did, about fifty million times. When will you listen?"

"When will you? You keep brushing off everything I say. You act like you're pissed at me but you're not. You're trying to shut me out but you should know by now that it's only going to make me push harder to force myself in." Jane said. "And yes, I realize now the dirty connotations to that sentence, no I didn't realize before I said it."

Lisbon barked out a laugh at that as Jane turned away to hide his slightly florid complexion. He started walking towards the exit, anxious to escape.

"You said something about not staying another minute in this godforsaken hospital?" Jane shouted over his shoulder.

Xxxx

"Here it is: my humble abode. Or not so humble." Lisbon said, opening the door to her apartment wide so that they could enter her sanctuary. It may be messy and chaotic, but it was organized chaos.

"It's lovely my dear. We're still not married?" Jane asked out of the blue.

"No Jane, we're still not married. Not since the last time you asked or the time before that. I know you're not slow at grasping information so you're just doing this to annoy me. You're going to stop and you're going to stop now." Lisbon said in her no-nonsense voice.

"I apologize. Sincerely." Jane said, looking deep into her eyes. "The whole ordeal is still a little fuzzy in my mind but that we're married is crystal clear, which really isn't all too clear but for the sake of this metaphor, let's call it so."

"I realize that this must be strange and confusing for you." Lisbon said sympathetically.

"Could you tell me what happen just before and right after I was drugged? I was told I passed out and hit my head so my recollection isn't too great. How's the case?" Jane asked all in one breathe.

"Slow down there. I'll fill you in on everything you missed. Just make yourself comfortable and I'll make us some tea." Lisbon said, already putting the kettle on the stove. She dug out some mugs from her cupboard, she seriously needed to do the dishes, and grabbed the tea bags from her pantry. She walked over to the living room and sat down beside Jane when the tea was ready.

"Okay, so we arrived at Lee's place to ask him some more questions and he ran. You remember that much?" Lisbon started.

"Yes. That rings a bell." Jane said, taking a sip of his tea.

"So I tried to get the situation under control when you showed up, even though I told you to wait at the car, and Lee freaked. He put his gun to your head and you just had to play games with him. The vial you took from his vest contained an unstable drug. It wasn't explosive, just spontaneously decomposed into its gaseous form. SO you decided to play with it, there was a bit of a struggle between you and Lee and it crashed to the ground. The now-airborne drug affected you primarily and Lee secondarily. By the time I got to you two or anyone else did, it had dispersed into the air so it didn't affect anyone else. You passed out and hit your head on the ground pretty hard." Lisbon said, her eyes glazing over as she remembered.

"What happened with Lee?" Jane prodded.

"He became surprisingly co-operative. Or rather, not so surprisingly now that we know he was under the influence of the drug. Once Cho and Rigsby got him back to the CBI he confessed to the murder. It was pretty straight forward from then on. Very interesting." Lisbon said with a smirk.

"Well, that's awfully boring. I'm glad I was in the hospital for that, I didn't miss anything good." Jane quipped.

"Hey, don't knock the good police work." Lisbon teased. "It's how cases are solved all across the nation."

"Not our cases." Jane said, bumping her shoulder affectionately.

"No, not our cases." Lisbon said softly, almost wistfully.

Jane brought his hand up to Lisbon's check, caressing it as he turned her head to face him. He stared into her eyes, losing himself in their depths. His hand didn't lie still for long before tracing an intricate and unconscious pattern up to entwine with her dark locks. Her breathing turned shallow and she seemed locked within her shell of a body, unresponsive and unwilling to move.

"Do have any notion of how beautiful you are? Any notion of what you do to me?" Jane whispered.

"I know I cause you to have minor memory lapses when it comes to whether or not we're married." Lisbon quipped, her eyes darting down to his lips as she willing them to approach her own.

"Alas, I lied. I knew as soon as I woke up with you in my arms that we were not married. But I also knew then that I'd be damned if I let you go." Jane said, unable to resist her magnetic pull and drew closer to her inch by inch.

"You mean to say you played me?" Lisbon said, eyes widening in anticipation as well as shock.

"Yes, but what a beautiful game, don't you agree?" Jane said. He didn't give her pause to answer before he united their lips in a kiss that they'd both been longing for far too long.

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><p><strong>I'm really happy with the ending. I don't know about you guys but that's how I feel. If you feel differently, well, I blame online dating. Not that I've tried it but I feel like it's worthy of the blame here. How about you let me know your thoughts on this story? Or if you just want to talk about how online dating is or is not to blame? I'd accept that too. :p Please leave a review! :D<strong>


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